What is Elder Mediation?

It is ‘a focused, respectful process – usually multi-party, multi-issue and intergenerational – whereby a trained Elder Mediator ensures, as much as possible, that all who need to be, are present in the mediation. The mediator facilitates discussions focusing on present strengths, and assists participants in exploring any issues or concerns. This form of mediation often involves many people related to the issues, such as family members, caregivers, organizations, agencies and a variety of service providers and networks.’

Elder Mediation International Network Code of Ethics for Elder Mediators

As the population ages and families are faced with making difficult decisions about care, support and accommodation, Elder Mediation is becoming increasingly common as a means of preventing or resolving disputes, and ensuring equality, dignity and appropriate care for older people.

Disputes can arise over who pays for care, what the appropriate level of care should be, where that care should be delivered, and how family members divide up the responsibilities for care, both financially and practically. Mediation supports individuals, families and service providers to find the best way forward, without recourse to going to court or damaging personal relationships.

As an Elder Mediator, I can offer assistance with:

Disputes between family members regarding what care and support is appropriate for an ageing relative, and how best that might be provided
Disputes between family members and care providers
Disputes between family members over wills
Disputes between family members over who is responsible for meeting the cost for care of an elderly relative
Disputes between family members regarding how care is delivered to an aging relative within a care facility, in the elderly relative’s own home, at a younger relative’s home, or in a hospital or nursing home
Disputes between family members over the type of care and treatment offered to an elderly relative concerning issues such as the balance between private treatment and NHS treatment

My Elder Mediation Services

I am a CEDR-accredited mediator, specialising in health, social care and later life, and privileged to be a speaker at the Elder Mediation World Summit 2018 where I will be speaking on the topic of facilitating intergenerational dialogue for advance care planning. Before I came to mediation I worked in strategic/organisational development in fields that included dementia, stroke, residential care homes, end of life care, advance planning and assistive technology.

Contact me for further information about the Elder Mediation International Network or about my dispute resolution/prevention and equality assurance services for older people, care providers and families.

Elder Mediation

Helping Families Have End-of-Life Conversations

‘As individuals we may (or most likely, may not) make Advance Plans about our end-of-life wishes, but how good are we at communicating those plans and wishes to those loved ones who may be present, involved and in good enough health to act upon, and advocate for, or even otherwise have blocked, our wishes, when the time of our death comes? What does it take for effective intergenerational dialogue to occur, whether between parents and children, aunts and nephews, cousin and cousin twice removed, older friend and younger friend?’ (Arabella Tresilian)

With the support of Living Well Dying Well, I spoke to fellow End of Life Doulas and later life practitioners, to ask them for their advice on ‘helping families have end of life conversations.’ Here are my findings, which I presented at the Elder Mediation World Summit 2018. Thanks so very much to those who of you here who so kindly shared your wisdom. I hope I have done justice to your generous contributions. 

You can read the opening to my paper, and access the whole paper and presentation: here

Living Well Dying Well’s kind response to the publication of my paper:

“Thank you, Arabella – you were important in developing our person centred approach to planning for End of Life – what we want, what we don’t want, who to speak for us if we can’t, preferences for after death ” 

Do follow the Living Well Dying Well #EndofLifeDoulaUK movement here…